Monday, January 29, 2007

hamlet rides again

the st louis cardinals have re-signed outfielder preston "hamlet, prince of denmark" wilson to a 1 year deal. i, for one, am in favor of this, as it means i have a whole new baseball season to reference hamlet and baseball. it also means that mookie "claudius" wilson will be spending a lot more time in st louis.

ok, let me qualify. provided we didn't pay him an absurd sum, i like this signing.

second qualifier: by absurd sum, i mean an absurdly large sum. i don't mean "league minimum + 83lbs of m&m's, six crocodile teeth, and enough helium balloons to fly to nepal." that would actually be reasonable.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

(g)rumblings

from the various happenings since my last post or passed over by it:

i'm ok with the ryan franklin signing, as long as it doesn't force anthony reyes or adam wainwright to be the odd man out. it's just a cheap insurance thing that keeps braden looper that much further out of the rotation.

rick ankiel has yet one more last chance to be a cardinal. count me among the "why the hell not" crowd, assuming we're paying him a regular minor league salary.

so signed today, pre-arbitration. i like so, but i wanted him to be an outfield defensive coach this year for the cardinals, not an outfielder. skip schumacher should be our defensive replacement this year, but 925k for so isn't that bad.

according to various sources, we either are or aren't trying to sign weaver. unless he's willing to sign for close to his actual worth and a short term contract, i say no thanks.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

betting on the brokedown

ok, i'll admit that though i'm not his biggest fan, i would like to have at least one more healthy, "vintage" season out of the guy (considering what we gave up for him). he is a good pitcher when on top of his game.

that said, if the contract walt offered him is not incentive laden to the point of near-ridiculousness, i may have to kill someone. maybe something like this

base yr 1: $500,000
>50 innings: $500,000
>100 innings: $1,000,000
>150 innings: $1,000,000
>10 wins: $1,000,000
>15 wins: $1,000,000
no dl time after returning: $500,000
not frosting his hair in '07: $500,000
no interviews until return: $500,000
not sounding like a douche when he does do interviews after return: $500,000
total with all incentives: 7mm

base yr 2: $1,500,000
>50 innings: $500,000
>100 innings: $1,000,000
>150 innings: $1,000,000
>200 innings: $1,500,000
>10 wins: $1,000,000
>15 wins: $2,000,000
1 or more home runs hit: $50,000 each
not frosting his hair in '08: $500,000
not beating redbird brass at golf: $500,000
not sounding like a douche in interviews: $500,000
not wearing a "sounds of the game" mic: $500,000
total with all incentives: 11mm + hr (hit) bonuses

for the "not sounding like a douche" incentives, i offer my services to the cardinals for a mere 50k per year.

i should write contracts for the cards. think of how much we could have saved on marquis if we'd had a "not sounding like a douche" clause...